When They Say ‘No’

photo of the palm of a hand pushing away with head turned - when they say no - freedom interventionsArriving at the point when your loved one is in need of an intervention can be a heartbreaking time. The disease of addiction tears families apart, creates despair, and is a fatal insidious disease. You may have watched your loved one build up a great future for themselves and then suddenly bring the entire structure of their life down on top of them. Little by slowly, you watch them as they lose their self and work at taking their life. No words can capture the heartache and pain the disease brings. So, having called together a gathering of all who love the individual in hopes they will accept an amazing offer it can be that much more devastating if they choose not to go. You might ask, “is that it? Where shall we go from here? What do I do when they say no?” In short, the process is not over.

I firmly believe, that to be prepared for every outcome is necessary when dealing with such an illness. And while our statistics show that 96% of individuals go to treatment on the day of the intervention, we must be prepared for that other 4%. There are numerous reasons when they say no. It could be that they have a need to make it their idea. Maybe they feel that the consequences in which the family has stated they will set in motion really won’t happen when they say no. Whatever the case, the addict still believes the pain of not using is greater than the pain of using. Experience in living without enabling is the only solution. It might take a day, or a month, but eventually the pain of using will tip the scale.

When they say no, what does this look like to the family? As a family member this looks like holding the consequences you agreed upon. The addict will try to push and manipulate you into giving in, you must stand your ground. When your loved one calls you, referring them to the professional and continuing to set the intent that you want to talk about going to treatment. This can be challenging. It is imperative to continue communication with the group of people that were there for the intervention. Standing united as a group insures that you stand strong.

So know, that regardless of what those fears are holding you back; that there is a solution. Professionals are trained to handle all the circumstances and the intervention is not a one day thing. Intervention is a process to help your loved one get the help they need.

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